She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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