In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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