Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
