you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
50% drunk capacity currently
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
