oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
