all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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