Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize