my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
her vagine was all disorganized.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
