Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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