She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
