i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
