I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
