my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
