im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
