dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
im calling her cock vulture from now on
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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