im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize