You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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