you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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