I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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