I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize