either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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