i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize