so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
