So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
