im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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