oh god the rape fog is back!
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
