I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
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