I accidentally had phone sex last night
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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