Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize