Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
