Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
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