I must be too annoying 4 u.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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