God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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