I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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