Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
