I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
