My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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