Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
