My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
sarcasm needs its own font
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You pole danced in your parka.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
