The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
