I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
