and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
