Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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