fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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