so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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