Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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