I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Idk if I want to put a bra on
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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