wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize