There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
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