Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
