I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize