you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
