dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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