Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
