Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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