so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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