Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
