There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize