Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
