Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
