Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Shitshow foam night was such a success
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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