I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
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