I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
