we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Randomize
