Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
