You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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