So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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