You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize